My Journey to Healing: A scene from the Matrix. Part 1: 20 Years of Chronic Decline

My wellness journey has not been simple. It has been like a scene out of the Matrix "Film" when Neo has to decide to take the blue or the red pill. Morpheus tells him "You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe" or "You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes".

I ended up taking the Red Pill and woke up, I just wish it didn't take me nearly 20 years to accept it.

You may think that because I have been a nurse for over 25 years that this awakening came naturally. Honestly, for much of my professional life I bought into the Western medical model of more doctors, more pills, and chronic disease as a life sentence.

I remember when I was in nursing school in the mid 1990's that I started coughing. It didn't stop for months and months, I was also plagued like, most nursing students with "nursing school syndrome" where I suffered from every disease we studied. So, after coughing for a year, I was diagnosed with asthma in my 20's. I probably had this for some time before, but I thought wheezing was normal. One of my older brothers wheezed too. It couldn't be that bad.

Some months later, my left knee started swelling, and I noticed I couldn't extend it all the way. It was weird, since I had no injury, so I went to my doctor's office. This physician was great, he treated me as a colleague, explaining his differential diagnosis which seemed a mile long. After a knee aspiration and steroid injection, I was off to physical therapy. This was the beginning of the early days of appointment after appointment, one specialist after another. I kept having weird symptoms that didn't fit seem to make any sense at all.

A pre-op appointment revealed some EKG abnormalities, I woke one morning after a tanning bed session with thousands of tiny broken blood vessels on both of my legs from the knees down. I remember feeling sort of crazy, especially after one Rheumatologist, suggested that I was depressed. "Bless his heart", I was a new nurse by then, but pretty sure depression would not cause petechial hemorrhages and intermittent knee swelling.

I don't know how many appointments or how many doctors I saw, but I started to feel hopeless with debilitating fatigue and random flu-like symptoms that seemed to smack me out of no where.

The rashes were super fun. I would break out in hives and rashes from head to toe with no obvious trigger and no easy relief. Then the lovely gut issues started. The intensity of stomach cramps and diarrhea where the pain was comparable to child birth (no kidding) seemed to come without warning. I remember one day at the hospital where I was a clinical faculty during a post conference with my students, where I broke out into a cold sweat, intense abdominal pain, and I just said to my group "time to go home", and spent the next 45 minutes in the bathroom.

I had to quickly identify where every public bathroom was, and had near car accidents rushing to get to a toilet in time. Was I really going to shit myself in my 30's?

Glamorous, I know.

I was then diagnosed with low thyroid, but no one asked the question why? So I started more medication. Steroids, antibiotics, loperamide, inhalers, and enough antihistamines to put a small army to sleep.

Seriously, I took diphenhydramine (Benadryl) plus several other antihistamines EVERY DAY for years, otherwise I would wheeze and blow snot on anyone around. This was after two separate rounds of allergy shots for several years. My allergist told me I was allergic to everything except Maple trees.

My gastroenterologist conducted numerous endoscopic procedures. (The preparation process is quite an experience. If you've been through it, you understand). When I inquired about the possibility of my digestive problems being related to food allergies, he brushed off my concerns.

I even requested to consult with an Endocrinologist regarding the thyroid problem, but they didn't make any effort to investigate the cause.

In 2013, I reached a stage where I could hardly raise my arms above my head due to profound fatigue. Constantly waking up tired and sleeping for over 12 hours didn't feel sufficient. Along with persistent low-grade fevers, my condition continued to deteriorate. Now in my forties, I eventually consulted another Rheumatologist who identified my conditions as Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease with aspects of Sjogren's and Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. I commenced treatment with immunosuppressants, Methotrexate, and Hydroxychloroquine (before it became controversial). These medications carried potent effects, including the risk of infections and retinal complications. This marked the the next stage of my lifelong battle with a progressively worsening chronic illness that could potentially trigger other autoimmune disorders or immune-related cancers such as lymphoma. My immune system was a mess.

Feeling despair, I made a bold decision to transform my career by resigning from a leadership role. I genuinely believed that I was on the path to a life of incapacity.

My awakening came when I had my red pill moment. It was in 2014 when my husband gave me a book by Dr. Amy Myers titled "The Autoimmune Solution". This gift opened my eyes to the possibility of reversing autoimmune diseases. I realized that with lifestyle changes, I could steer this ailing situation in a positive direction.

Realizing that my diet directly influenced my autoimmune flares, I discovered that my gut health had been compromised due to extensive antibiotic use during my childhood. I was subjecting my body to harmful toxins. Consequently, I took the initial actions to restore my well-being.